Striving to remove barriers that prevent us from building Vibrant, Diverse, Inclusive, Accessible Communities!
Chris Herring was out with his 16 month old son, Oliver, when a boy of about ten walked up. The boy used the R word to ask about Oliver. That ableist slur labels a person as slow or delayed. Curiosity does not make that word harmless. Oliver is a toddler with ReNU Syndrome. The National Institutes of Health defines it as a neurodevelopmental disability that brings significant developmental delays. Microcephaly, seizures, speech delays, slow growth, and hip dysplasia can come with it too. Oliver reaches what his family calls inchstones on his own timeline.
Oliver does not use spoken words. Chris and Hannah, his wife, have found other ways to connect and talk with him. They hope he will walk one day. Oliver has low muscle tone and difficulty feeding. His parents watch closely for seizures and give him medication. Therapies will be part of his whole life. Oliver works hard every day, and his parents want him comfortable, thriving, and enjoying a good life. Chris could have gotten angry at the boy. He chose to teach him instead. He said Oliver may seem different in how he looks, sounds, and thinks, and to Chris he remains "the toughest little guy." He told the boy that Oliver does not quit, keeps learning, and brings joy wherever he goes. Then he asked the boy to use another word next time.
A calm answer does not erase the harm. Chris says a question like this cuts deeper than people realize for him and Hannah. It also reminds them that people see how different Oliver looks. Chris shared the moment on Instagram. He is asking parents to talk with their children openly and respectfully about difference. Asking about disability is fine when it is done with care. Chris also wants more people to know about ReNU Syndrome, which is new and often missed. He urges concerned parents to request whole genome sequencing, because ReNU Syndrome appears in a noncoding part of deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA).
Children learn who belongs by watching how adults answer their questions. Chris says kids need grace, good examples, and the freedom to ask hard questions. Most children spend little time around disability, so they get curious. Parents who value inclusion should not keep their kids sheltered. Disability is not contagious. It is no death sentence either. Oliver's diagnosis does not set limits on his potential. His life matters deeply and holds real purpose, however different it looks. No one should fear a person who looks, sounds, or acts differently. People with Disabilities should be valued and take part fully in community life. That goal is still out of reach when a child's question about a toddler comes out as a slur.
A ten year old's slur about a toddler shows how little many children know about disability. We should meet a curious child's question about disability with a calm reply and a better word. Kids invited to wave, say hello, and ask move us toward Vibrant, Diverse, Inclusive, Accessible Communities for People with Disabilities.
How we answer a curious child now shapes who that child welcomes later, and that is where Vibrant, Diverse, Inclusive, Accessible Communities begin.
Read the Full Article: Boy uses offensive term for toddler with a disability, dad’s response says it all.
By: Alyce Collins
